(With special thanks to Clement Clark Moore)
‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through Star Trek
Not a lifeform was stirring, not even Sarek;
The latinum was kept in the cargo bay with care,
Just in case some Ferengis soon would be there;
The Doctor was nestled all snug in sickbay,
With visions of Tom Paris getting in his way;
With Seven in her alcove, and Data with his cat,
Had powered down his positronic net as he sat,
When near the engine room there arose such a clatter,
Worf sprang from his bed, thinking of anti-matter.
Away to the holodeck Worf flew like a flash,
Prised open the doors and readied his sash.
A holographic planet all covered with snow
Gave the lustre of space to the darkness below,
When, what to his wondering eyes should appear
But a much older Enterprise, with a Scots engineer,
With a brash young Captain, so lively, carefree,
He knew in a moment it must be Kirk, James T.
More rapid than shuttlecraft, Kirk‘s officers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;
“Now, M’Ress! Now, Chapel! Now, Uhura and Scott!
On, Chekov, on Sulu! On, Bones and Spock!
To the top of the bridge! to the transporter rooms quick!
Now raise the shields! Bones, check no-one’s sick!
The final frontier, that’s where we shall fly.”
When met with an obstacle, they’d warp through the sky;
So out to the stars before them they flew,
With the ship full of hope, and Starfleet’s finest crew. .
And then, in a twinkling, Worf heard down the deck
The sound of loud footsteps, and then turned his neck
As he drew in his head, and was turning around,
Down the passageway there came Picard with a bound.
He was clothed in dress uniform, from head to his feet,
And Number One was with him with beard so complete;
A sack of toys he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a Klingon readying to attack.
His eyes—how they twinkled! His bald head was shining!
His cheeks were like roses, he had perfect timing!
Riker’s smiling mouth was drawn up like a bow
And with a quick wink he asked “So, shall we go?”;
Ten Forward was full to the brim with brave crew,
Like Janeway and Sisko and yes, Archer too;
Neelix‘s broad face and a little round tummy,
Odo with Kira as Quark counted his money.
There was Malcolm and Tripp, a right jolly old pair,
Harry Kim laughed when he saw them, and then Q was there;
A wink of his eye and his fingers now clicked,
Tuvok started dancing and didn’t care he’d been tricked;
Picard spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And handed presents to all; then turned with a jerk,
Then saying “Make it so,” to his own finest team,
And giving a nod, he made ready to beam;
He sprang to his feet, to his friends gave a smile,
And wished it happened more, not just once in a while;
But they heard him exclaim, ere he beamed out of sight,
“Happy Christmas to Trekkers, and to Trekkies good-night.”