Firstly, let me apologise to all of you for not doing another of my New Series
features. Bla bla bla two kids two jobs all that jazz.

What I’m doing this week is simple – “20 things that will never happen in Star Trek:
The next generation”

1 – The Enterprise runs into a mysterious energy field of a type that it has
encountered several times before.

2 – The Enterprise goes to check up on a remote outpost of scientists who are all
perfectly all right.

3 – The Enterprise comes across a Garden-of- Eden like planet called “Paradise”
where everyone is happy all the time. However, everything is soon revealed to be
exactly as it seems.

4 – The crew discovers a totally new life form, which later turns out to be a
rather well known old life form wearing a silly hat

5 – The crew are struck by a strange alien plague, for which the cure is found by
Dr. Crusher in her well stocked sickbay

6 – An enigmatic being composed of pure energy attempts to interface with the
Enterprise, only to find out it hasn’t brought the right leads

7 – A power surge on the bridge is rapidly and correctly diagnosed as a faulty
capacitor by the highly trained and competent engineering staff

8 – The afore mentioned power surge fails to electrocute the user of the panel,
due to a highly sophisticated 24th century piece of technology called a “fuse”

9 – The Enterprise ferries an alien VIP from one place to another without
incident

10 – The Enterprise seperates as soon as there is immediate danger

11 – Somebody takes a shuttle out and it doesn’t explode or crash

12 – A major emergency breaks out, but fortunately some other ships in the area
are able to deal with it.

13 – The Enterprise visits the Klingon homeworld on a bright sunny day

14 – A major character spends the entire episode in the Holodeck without a
single malfunction

15 – Mood rings come back in style, rendering Deanna Troi redundant

16 – Worf actually gives another vessel more than two seconds to respond to a
hail

17 – An unknown ensign beams down as part of an away team and lives to tell the tale.

18 – Data doesn’t age

19 – The solution to a problem is NOT Wesley Crusher (Note: This only applies to episodes the boy wonder is IN)

20 – Geordi gets some