In the reaches of deep space, a fleet of starships led by Captain Pirk are preparing to enter a strange dimensional rift called the maggot hole. Is it good? Bad? Who knows? But that’s where the story starts, and it’s quite an odd one.
After this brief intro, the film flashes back to where the previous Star Wreck apparently ended, with dim-witted Captain Pirk and his crew stranded on Earth in our time period. Plingon Commander Dwarf is a hotdog vendor, the android Commander Info is nowhere to be found and Pirk is having little success in picking up women in fast food burger bars. Despite warnings of violating the First Directive and tampering with the timeline, Pirk figures that he can create a new destiny for Earth that will bring him power, fame and fortune. They just need a new ship to do it.
The Vulgars tried to make first contact with Earth, but instead wound up hitting the party scene, and their ship got sold to the Russians. Seizing this opportunity, Pirk and his crew decide to take it by force and turn it into their new S.S. Kickstart. After a few years it’s ready, and soon Pirk sets out on a course of global conquest to become Emperor. It’s an easy enough job taking over, but the people of Earth don’t appreciate his leadership.
Another problem is that even though a new spacefleet is assembled, none of their ships can get past twist factor 2 to explore and conquer new worlds. So when they find the maggot hole in space it seems like their prayers have been answered. Pirk makes plans to invade… only to find a parallel reality where their new enemies from a alternate Earth occupy a large space station called Babel 13.
The scene is set for an epic battle between two sci-fi realities, where the inept Pirk must match wits with his long-winded counterpart Johnny K. Sherrypie. Will Babel 13’s drunk security officer Mikhael Garybrandy stay sober for long enough to do anything significant? Will Commander Dwarf ever solve the mystery of why his tactical station is the only place on the bridge that doesn’t have a chair? Will Pirk ever be able to bed a woman successfully?
Parodies are always walking a fine line, and taking on both Star Trek and Babylon 5 is a tough job to do. When you add the fan-film aspect, and that this was apparently made by five guys in two rooms, it can become a worrying sign. Yet incredibly it works, and works well.
Not every joke is going to get you laughing, the insistence of every character having joke names can be a little heavy-handed, and it takes a little while to adjust to the comedy that’s in play. Yet there are some very accurate gags about both Star Trek and Babylon 5 in here. Even if you’re unfamiliar with some aspects of either franchise it doesn’t matter, because the jokes are usually amusing enough even without the references.
The performances are decent enough too, although it’s hard to cheer for any of the characters. Coming from Finland it’s subtitled into English, so you’ll have to do some reading too. But the effects… wow.
It’s incredible what they’ve managed to do with such a small budget. The sets look more than just passable, they’re downright impressive. The blue screen is hardly noticeable, and the space battles between the instantly recognisable ships is of genuinely high quality. In fact, it’s the war that many fans of both franchises have wanted to see for years finally brought to life.
Unfortunately the production suffers from something that Star Trek: The Motion Picture viewers know too well: You can only watch so much of the special effects before you want something else to happen. The battle seems to go on… and on… and on. Then there’s a break for some story and comedy (a raucous party scene) before another round of space battles begins. You don’t really care who wins or loses, and the story loses any sense of importance.
If you want something that looks good, provides some cheap laughs and manages to successfully parody two of science fictions best TV shows, this is it. It isn’t brilliant, and has the occasional gag that’s more offensive than funny, but those moments pass by quickly enough. It may take a while to get going, but the end result is still strangely satisfying.
Oh, and just for the record, it’s in the public domain, so you can watch it without paying. Which makes it kind of a bargain, really.
Watch the full length feature film here: Star Wreck – In the Pirkinning Warning: contains some profanity
Visit the website at (in English) at starwreck.com